Happy Valentine's Day friends!
And of course happy Monday!
In honor of Valentine's Day, I wanted to share a love/marriage post!
So little background on us...we met July 2014. Can you guess how? Yup he slid into my dm's! LOL So romantic I know! We dated for about 2.5 months before I
got pregnant with our little blessing, Julian. And we got married December 20,2014, and Julian made his grand entrance June 20,2015. If you're keeping up with the math than you figured out that we only knew each other for 5 months, and boom! Pregnant and married! I guess when you know, you know.
I personally feel like that it takes more than 5 months to know a person and truly know if they're your soulmate. When we got married, I didn't know what an angry Juan looked like, I didn't know what a hangry Juan looked like, and I didn't know what a sad Juan looked like. I got to know those versions of him already being married and with a child on the way, so it was tough y'all!
Because our marriage has been thru the ringer, I thought I would share some advice/tips I have learned along the way. Please take in mind, this is of course, my personal experience! No marriage is perfect, and no marriage is the same. And if you have any advice/tips you'd like to share please do! We could all use a little extra help! lol
1) MARRIAGE IS HARD! : I use to hear it all the time! But I just really thought those people were unhappy or they just didn't love their spouse. I love my husband but I'm here to tell you MARRIGE IS HARD! You literally learn something new, every.single.day in your marriage. And you essentially have to learn to love something new about your spouse.
2) YOU HAVE TO WORK AT IT EVERYDAY! : I think this is something that I didn't hear a lot. Noone ever told me that it literally takes work. It's so easy to have an argument and get divorced, but that's not what marriage is. My husband and I have had plenty of arguments, divorced has been thrown out there, but neither of us were ever ready to give up. We worked at it every day. We learn from our mistakes. I have learned that my husband's love language is physical touch. So, I have made it a priority to always reassure him in that way. We do our best to be better for each other.
3) COMMUNICATION IS KEY! - An oldie but a goodie! These last couple of years of marriage have been the best. I think one day something just clicked in our brains lol and we started to communicate SO MUCH BETTER with each other. Looking back, I use to get upset when he said something that made me feel bad, I would just go about my day, I wouldn't text him all day, when he got home I would be distant with him because of that one thing he said. Did he think what he said affected me? No. Did he intentionally say that to make me feel bad? No. Did I create this whole scenario in my head? Yes. Did I convince myself that he didn't love me anymore? Yes. There's no way he could've known unless I communicate that with him. Now it's different. If he says something and I don't like it, I let him know. I'm a very sensitive person and he has learned that lol If I'm having a tough mental day, I let him know. If I'm just feeling irritated, I let him know. Your spouse cannot read your mind! Of course, it would make things easier but unfortunately God didn't give us superpowers.
4) GROWING UP TOGETHER: In my opinion, this is one of the most beautiful experiences in marriage. I have seen my husband become a loving and caring man. I have seen him become a father. I have seen him become a wonderful husband. We were 20 when we got married so we've been with each other majority of our adulthood. In the beginning, like I said it was tough, but we were both young, still a bit immature. And to see us now, it makes my heart so happy and just puts a huge smile on my face.
5) SUPPORT EACH OTHER: This one is also HUGE! Your spouse may have a crazy dream/goal in life, like turning a fashion blog into their business, and YOU have to be there to support them. Have you ever heard the quote or song, I can't really remember, but it goes something like "in a crowd of people, I always search for you". When your spouse has a goal in life that they want to achieve, they will 95% of the chance come to you first to get your input. In my personal life, I always feel idk, safe, when I want to do something and I know my husband supports it. Of course, he may not support every single thing I do BUT in marriage you also learn to compromise. This is also one of those things that has also clicked in our brains in the last 2 years.
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And to wrap things up, I just want you know, marriage is beautiful. It's one of those things that continue to get better. Our first 5 years of marriage were so hard. I mean HARD! But like I said, it takes work and how much you're willing to fight for it. And when it gets to tough, pray.
I hope you enjoyed this post! Happy Valentine's Day....now let's go eat some chocolate!
