COFFEE TALK: WORTHLESS?

Happy Wednesday! 

It has been a while since I've done a COFFEE TALK post! One of the many reasons I started my blog is because I wanted a place to share my thoughts, or how I was feeling, I guess you can say I wanted this to be some sort of diary for me. 

I'm struggling to find a title for this post because there is a lot that I want to talk about but most of it revolves around the word "WORTHLESS". If I told you guys how many times that word has been thrown at me, y'all would think I was kidding...but unfortunately I'm not kidding. 

I remember being called "worthless" at the age of 16, I was trying to figure out life, figuring out who I am, etc. When this person first called me worthless, I made up excuses for them. Telling myself, "well you shouldn't have said that" , "it's your fault", "he's absolutely right", "you should've just kept your mouth shut", and so many more things. I was in this environment for a couple of years and "worthless" was constantly thrown at me. Again I not once told myself, "hey you are not worthless, snap out of it" 

I always wondered what made a person call another such an awful & hurtful word. Like what makes you want to call another human being "worthless". Does it make you feel worth more? Does it make you feel powerful? 

I'm 25 now, and depression is something that I silently fight through everyday. I've come to realize that a HUGE trigger is being called "worthless".  When that word is directed at me, it puts me in a dark place. It takes me to the 18 year old me, who finally decided to leave that toxic environment, it takes me back to the days I would cry in my small blue room, to the days I felt helpless and alone, to the days I didn't think I'd ever see the light at the end of the tunnel, to the days I felt worthless. 

It took a lot to finally look in the mirror and not feel worthless, it took a lot to realize that I am worth so much. It takes a lot of strength to get YOURSELF out of those dark places. Those dark feelings that feel like are never going to go away. 

If today you are feeling worthless, know that you are NOT! You are worth so much, your life is worth everything. Know that you are loved, know that if you ever feel alone I am only a message away. 

Worthless, is an ugly and hurtful word. It can hurt a person more than you can imagine. 

Pray, I promise you he listens. He was there when I wanted to end it all, he was there when I lost all hope. Pray to him. 

He is the reason I am here today, he knows I am worth so much, he did give his life for me. That alone is just mind blowing to me. 

-
-
-

I hope you guys enjoyed this post and thank you for letting me vent to you! Thank you so much for continuing to support me blog.